How a drive to an audition changed the course of life with actor, singer and leg amputee Rachel Handler
Welcome to Season 2 of The Brain Game Changer podcast. I am your host, Melissa Gough. In this week's episode we head to New York where I had the wonderful online pleasure of speaking with actor, singer and amputee Rachel Handler.
Rachel shares how her passion for music, singing and theatre was ignited from a young age and the journey of pursuing it as a career. We lean into a day when driving to an audition changed the course of her life and the recovery involved. Rachel highlights the significance of her family’s support, meeting a new love and entering back into the auditioning arena and acting world again as an amputee.
Strength training has been a major focus for Rachel over recent years and she shares supportive training videos on social media to educate fellow amputees. Her positivity and optimism for her future really shone through when speaking with her and it was incredibly inspiring to witness. Let’s get into the interview.
Follow @thebraingamechanger on Instagram
Email: info@thebraingamechanger.com
Follow @bionic.brunette on Instagram
-
Melissa Gough 0:04
Welcome to The Brain Game Changer: where heartfelt stories, awareness and education can change the game. My name is Melissa and in each episode, I talk with inspiring humans and organisations from across the globe, who share significant adversities, triumphs after tragedy, and those game changing moments to provide you with some useful tools and resources to take with you into your everyday life. In this week's episode, we head to New York where I had the wonderful online pleasure of speaking with actor, singer and amputee, Rachel Handler. Rachel shares how her passion for music, singing and theatre was ignited from a young age and the journey of pursuing it as a career. We lean into a day when driving to an audition changed the course of her life and the recovery involved. Rachel highlights the significance of her family support, meeting a new love and entering back into the auditioning arena and acting world again as an amputee. Strength training has been a major focus for Rachel over recent years, and she shares supportive training videos on social media to educate fellow amputees. Her positivity and optimism for her future really shone through when speaking with her, and it was incredibly inspiring to witness. Let's get into the interview.
Melissa Gough 1:31
Good morning, Rachel, and welcome to The Brain Game Changer Podcast. What an honour it is to have you with us this morning.
Rachel Handler 1:37
Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here tonight!
Melissa Gough 1:40
It is Friday morning, at the time of this recording in Melbourne, Australia, and Rachel is based in New York.
Rachel Handler 1:47
Yeah, yeah.
Melissa Gough 1:48
Beautiful. What's the weather like today?
Rachel Handler 1:50
Ah, cold! It was like in the 70's earlier this week, and now it's just back to like the 40's and 50s. So cold!
Melissa Gough 1:59
Fair enough. Thank you for all the information you sent. You have an amazing website with great blogs, which we will go into. But acting, singing and musical theatre come radiating through. Let’s get a bit of a backstory about where you grew up, and was this already something on your radar from young?
Rachel Handler 2:17
Yeah, for sure. I grew up in South Jersey by the beach in Atlantic City. I started doing theatre, oh my gosh, I was probably like five or six. I was singing for my parents, and I was asking them to buy me plays that I could read instead of books. I was writing my own plays and trying to put on my own shows in the backyard or in the basement. So it was always a passion of mine. Then I started doing community theatre and taking voice lessons and dance lessons and acting lessons and all of it. So from a really young age, I knew like, oh, this is a big passion of mine. This isn't going away, and my parents quickly realised that too! By high school, I was fully immersed in the musical theatre world. I was begging them to go watch Broadway shows because it was, you know, it was about like a three hour bus ride up to New York City to see a Broadway show. So every month, I would be like, can we go back to New York? You know, I always loved it. I went to college for musical theatre. I moved to New York right after college to audition for Broadway. So I carried it through my whole life. But yeah, ever since I was like five or six, I would, you know, just want to see shows and want to put on my own shows.
Melissa Gough 3:35
That's really beautiful. When young, you are already like, this is my vision, this is what I want to do. You were advocating for that with your parents, and that sounds like anybody as well, who would give you the time for you to present your show, which is really beautiful. Because it's really hard. I mean, even as adults, sometimes we still don't know what we want to do. But what a light it was for you to just go yep, this is where I see my future is going. As you stated, you went to college. What did you study at college?
Rachel Handler 4:01
I studied musical theatre. I went to Westminster Choir College, and there was more of an emphasis on voice studies. But we also took some dance classes and acting classes there. So I loved going to school there and I met some of my best friends to this day at that school. So that was really nice. Now some of us still do musicals, some of us have ventured out to TV and film work. Some are not into the industry at all because it is just such a cutthroat industry for such a fun career, it is so cutthroat and mentally exhausting. So I get why some people wouldn't want to be in the industry. But for me, I still can't see myself doing anything else. So I'm still here, but I loved my years at Westminster.
Melissa Gough 4:50
So you graduate and your passion is still very much alive. You have done a mixture of Regional Theatre and National Theatre, and TV and singing. We'll get into all of that. Once you finish college, what is the process of auditioning for the different types of Broadway's, the different types of theatre, the different types of shows that you want to do? As you mentioned cutthroat and that is a word that I've heard used a lot in that sort of industry. What's the process? What do you have to do?
Rachel Handler 5:25
Well, for me, I wanted to move to New York City right away, but I also knew it would be really hard as a non union musical theatre actor. Here in America, we have the Actors Equity Association, AEA, and I wanted to either join the union before I moved, or at least get some EMC points, which helps you join the union later on. At the time, this was pre COVID, there would be these huge open call auditions where hundreds of people would show up, and you had to sign off either on the union list, the EMC list, or non union. If you were non-union, you probably weren't going to get seen if it was a busy call, so you would wait around all day, and probably not get seen. Luckily, right after I graduated, I worked at a theatre in Cape May, and I got some equity points. So then I moved up to New York, and I started auditioning, I was performing off Broadway. I was taking classes, just trying to network and get people to know me, and it was going really well. It was great. Yeah, I felt like I was living my dream.
Melissa Gough 6:44
That's beautiful that you were living your dream, and it sounds like you weren't afraid to hustle as well. It sounds like you weren't afraid to put in the work, to hustle, to go where you needed to go, to advance, to learn, to evolve to be the actor that you're always continuing to thrive to be.
Rachel Handler 7:02
Yeah, I think that's so important. I always had just this drive inside of me that said, 'if you don't book this part, you'll book the next one, or the next one or the next one.' Don't let it stop, you just keep doing what you love. Sometimes it's harder on some days, other days for sure. But I just keep reminding myself like you're doing this for a reason. Just keep finding the joy in it. You know.
Melissa Gough 7:28
What was one of the first big breaks for you where you just thought, 'ah all this work, all these hours, all this sitting around day in day out at interviews hoping to get a call back, hoping to even get seen, when did that sort of break take place for you?
Rachel Handler 7:43
Oh, I think the very first big break I had was performing at Bucks County Playhouse in New Hope, Pennsylvania. It's a beautiful theatre. They do a tonne of musicals every spring, summer and fall, and they are very selective. I was so honoured that they chose me to be in like four or five of their musicals that year. So the first time I worked, there was the summer between my junior and senior year in college. It was just an incredible experience. I mean, it's what we call summer stock here, where we're performing at night, but rehearsing new shows during the day. I was constantly working, constantly memorising new songs, learning new dances, and it was such a thrill, and it was the most I had been getting paid to perform since then. So, it felt really cool to, you know, be able to pay most of my bills from performing. So that was really, really exciting!
Melissa Gough 8:44
That is awesome! Being around like minded souls, expressing your creative outlet, constantly learning and evolving. What were you able to do once that role had finished? Where did it lead you to?
Rachel Handler 8:58
I ended up doing like nine or 10 musicals with Bucks County Playhouse so I just felt like it really prepared me for auditions in New York City, because I was super familiar with those 10 shows. I knew how to learn music quickly. I knew how to be a better performer, doing all those shows. I learned so much. So that was all before I moved to New York and I think it just really helped build my confidence and make me a better performer for when I moved to New York and where there was the most competition ever.
Melissa Gough 9:31
So how old were you when you moved to New York and what was happening at the time?
Rachel Handler 9:36
Yeah, I was 24 years old, and I moved in with a bunch of friends. There were four of us living in technically two bedroom apartment with one bathroom. It was really, really just a wild ride! But I loved all of my roommates and we were all just moving to New York chasing the dream. We were all performers, actors, musical theatre artists. So it felt like we had formed our own little community of artists.We were all just constantly working on new music and learning from each other. We would go to auditions together, sometimes, cooked together. So it was just an incredible way to start out my professional adulthood.
Melissa Gough 10:19
That's awesome. It sounds like you're in great space, being around supportive and encouraging people all chasing your dream in the Big Apple in New York. What a place to do that! During this wonderful time in your life and going to auditions and getting roles living with great people, I'm going to lean into a day where you woke up like every other day. You had an audition organised, and no doubt, had done lots of preparation, and was feeling very confident, with all the anticipations and feelings that we do in those moments. There was a little bit of change of events. Can we lean into that moment?
Rachel Handler 10:58
Sure. You know, it's always hard to talk about a day that changes your life in such a drastic way. At the time, I was, you know, I woke up like every normal day, like you said, and it was a rainy Saturday morning. I was running late, as per usual, nothing has changed in that regard. I packed up my guitar, I got myself, like sort of ready for this audition. It was an audition where I had to sing and play the guitar, which made me extra nervous. I was driving to the audition, and I was on a highway. It was raining a little bit, which was fine. It wasn't like obscuring my view, but the roads were a little slick. I got to the point in the highway where I had to turn off and get to another highway, and there was a curve that was a very sharp curve. So as I'm going around it, I'm skidding and the car next to me is skidding and we sort of had a minor fender bender. I'm like, 'okay, this isn't good, 'but we're okay. Pulled over on the side of the road, the other driver asked to use my cell phone. So I got out of my car, we're talking on the side of the road, leaning right up against the guardrail. That's when another car was speeding around the curve and hit us both! It's so interesting, because, you know, I think our brain protects us from trauma. I remember seeing the car and being like, ‘that's going to hit me and just having no time to react, and the next thing I know, I'm lying face first in the grass, and my body is completely numb, and I know something is very, very wrong. Luckily, there were other cars right behind that one that pulled over right away. I never felt scared and alone. There were people who came to my side right away. I specifically remember a father and his daughter, and they held my hand as we waited for the ambulance. They were all like 'you're injured, but we're here, the ambulance is on its way.' They helped me call my dad because I had just talked to him five minutes earlier saying I was in a small accident. I'm okay, but you know, we're waiting for the police. Then I had to call him and say 'say I'm hurt, you have to, you have to come up here.' It's the day that I'll never forget. But it's also a day that I have come to celebrate as the day I survived instead of the day I lost part of myself. It's a day that I gained more of myself. I like to say.
Melissa Gough 13:33
Rachel, thank you so much for leaning into that moment. Even though we've gone through something very different. I can understand that moment of celebrating that you lived through it.
Rachel Handler 13:42
Yeah, yeah.
Melissa Gough 13:44
An ambulance was called, and what can you tell us about what was going on after that?
Rachel Handler 13:49
Oh, I just remember asking, ‘ give me all the pain meds you got, you know, like pretend I'm like a drug mule!’ Like give me all of them! (chuckles). So I'm in the ambulance, we get to the hospital. My parents arrived very quickly, the first days are a blur, really. I'm just in like a morphine haze. I remember having so many visitors and it was so wonderful to see how many people loved me, I felt so loved. I really just felt lucky in that sense, because it was a painful time. I was literally waiting for skin to grow back at one point. I remember I was dating someone at the time and the nurses were like, 'do you want to stay for her bandage change'? He was like, 'oh, well, I'll stay and then he quickly had to leave because it was a lot.' It was painful. It was a big mental challenge waking up every morning and I would be getting phone calls from theatre companies that I just auditioned for, and they were saying, 'we'd like to invite you to our callback tomorrow.' I was having to say I'd love to, but I'm in the hospital. My career is completely on hold. I have to focus on healing everything that I've worked so hard for for the past 24 years, it felt like it was done at the time. So it was really, really hard. The only thing getting me through, was my parents were there every day, my brothers, my friends, were visiting constantly, I never had a room without flowers, and just feeling that love That support is the only thing that really got me through that time, for sure.
Melissa Gough 15:27
Thank you for sharing that, and it's beautiful that you had all that support. So the leg had become damaged at the time of the accident. Was it then amputated through surgery in the hospital?
Rachel Handler 15:39
My leg was actually amputated at the scene of the crime. It was gone, it was completely gone. The only reason I didn't bleed out is because the rest of my leg was crushed, so there was no saving it. Which in a way I'm a little bit grateful for because I know amputees who have tried to save their limb for a year, or two years, with no luck, and had been on crutches that whole time. Then once the leg is finally amputated, they have a lot of phantom pain, or their brain still remembers the pain of that leg being there. For me, it was gone, I was able to recover pretty quickly, and I don't have phantom pain because my brain doesn't associate pain with that foot. It was fine one day, and it was gone, the next and that's that. So I think that in a way helped me because phantom pain is real. I know so many amputees who feel like their foot is there and feel like it's on fire, and it's really hard to cure that pain, because it's all nerve damage. So yeah.
Melissa Gough 16.49
How long were you in hospital for and what's the rehabilitation and recovery process like afterwards?
Rachel Handler 16:53
I was in the hospital for about a month. Even though a lot of amputees have significant surgeries, when I had a big revision surgery, it was the same day procedure, I was in and out. So even though the amputation was my biggest injury, because I had to wait for my skin to heal. That's why I was in the hospital for so long. So I was in the hospital for about a month, then I was in rehab, learning to walk on crutches for about a week after that, and then I got to go home.
Melissa Gough 17:21
So heading home, I'm sure there's lots of feelings about heading home, I have no doubt your family are just grateful that you're still with them. You're sort of heading home now, though, as a totally different person, and I don't just mean that physically. I mean, when you go through anything that's such a huge, significant trauma or event like that in your life, your lens of life is not going to be the same. What was it like for you, and what was it like for your family? I guess you're learning who the new you is. I mean, I feel like we're constantly always doing that. Now once we've gone through what we've gone through, but can you talk us through? I guess that first year going home?
Rachel Handler 18:01
Oh, yeah! Honestly, I think the first few months that I was home were pretty okay, I was just finding my groove, again, focused on healing. Then the next few months were probably the hardest because I realised I can't do this on my own. I need to go to therapy. I need to go through the entire grieving process. People weren't visiting anymore, that had run its course. So I think the hardest was like, okay, the shock of everything has worn off, and now I'm realising this is my life. This is the new normal. So I went to therapy, I started working out with one leg. I started writing a little bit and singing again. I mean, even in the rehab centre, I was starting to play piano and sing again, which was fun. My brother encouraged me to play the piano and sing while I was there. The first song I thought of was I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady. So I'm singing about dancing as I'm recovering from a leg amputation, which is always fun! When I got home, the hard work began, really. But it was possible to do all of that because I still felt like I had support from my parents even though the visits from a lot of other people were slowing down. I still felt very loved and I felt like I had great doctors caring for me and checking up on me. I was going to physical therapy like twice a week and I started going to therapy to talk about the grieving process. So I never felt a moment of deep despair, deep depression feeling stagnant. I never really felt that way. There was always a positive momentum going and I credit that to just how I am, but also my parents as well.
Melissa Gough 20:05
Rachel, that's one thing that I'm hearing coming through. By nature, you're sort of a hard working, persevering trailblazer, you're seeking your life, you are seeking your dreams. So that drive, that inner drive has always been there. It sounds like it's put you in great stead for your recovery, as well as the support. One thing that you did mention, though, is that the visits started to slow down and stop. I know that seems to be the human element of life, when we go through an event everyone rallies around initially, and that starts to sort of trickle away. Did it impact friendships? Did it change friendships? You also mentioned you were dating someone at the time? Are they still part of your life?
Rachel Handler 20:44
I am no longer dating that person. I'm engaged to someone else!
Melissa Gough 20:48
Oh, my gosh! Amazing! Congratulations!
Rachel Handler 20:52
Thank you! Thank you! Yes, I've been with my fiance for over five years now, and I mean, he's the love of my life. He has seen me at some very low moments, because the healing process is never linear. There are going to be ups and downs. And you think, yes, I'm on the road to recovery, I'm healing, I'm healing, I'm healing, then something happens and it's like starting over, for example, not being able to wear my prosthetic leg for a week or something like that. So I feel very lucky to have him because he's seen me when I am at my worst with my leg, he is amazing. He's seen me when I just had surgery, and he has to empty my blood bag for me. I literally had a surgery in 2020, where they had to attach a bag to my leg to take out the pulling blood and pus and whatever else was in there, and he would drain it for me. I feel very lucky to have him. Right after the accident, I realised that my close friends were indeed amazing friends. Even though they could visit less, because they lived further away from where my parents were than where the hospital was, they were still checking up on me, and I was able to maintain those friendships very easily. My friend group might have shrunk a little bit, but I realised the accident brought those people who stayed in my life much closer to me. I actually just celebrated one of those friends, her wedding a few weeks ago, and it just has been amazing to celebrate all of these high, high happy moments in each other's lives. I think back to when we were in college together, when I lost my leg when she met her now husband, you know all those moments. So it's really fun to have those relationships.
Melissa Gough 22:43
So true, Rachel, and thank you for sharing all that, it's really lovely. You're not the only one who's described recovery and rehabilitation, that it's not linear. I have heard that word said a few times, it really goes through ebbs and flows. As you say, we could be just feeling really good, we're on a high and then, bang, one day out of nowhere, things can just overcome us, and we don't know why. I think that's part of it. I also agree that everyone has talked about as well, that their friendship circle did shrink and did reduce. However, it has happened to me as well. I feel I'm a richer person for who is in my life now, because they really have stuck through the hard days. The real, real tough days, the awful days and seeing us at our most physically vulnerable. Those moments of those people staying are just priceless. So you mentioned earlier, you got engaged, and again, congratulations! Through all of this happening, how did you meet?
Rachel Handler 23:41
We met through an app called Coffee Meets Bagel. I realised pretty quickly when I was living in Jersey City and I was getting back into you know, auditioning and doing more TV and film work and musical theatre. I just wasn't meeting men that I was interested in dating organically that way, and I wasn't meeting guys in bars. So I was on a few apps and Coffee Meets Bagel is where I met Grant. It's funny because I was about to get off all of the dating apps I was done with dating. I was like so over it! I had gone on like at least 10-15 dates that summer. First dates and none of them led to second dates. I was about to just call it, like maybe I'll try again next year.
Melissa Gough 24:30
But well done for being so brave! You're so brave! You've already gone through what you've gone through and you're putting yourself out there and where you are now. I mean, that takes courage. I think it's amazing.
Rachel Handler 24:39
Yeah, it's not easy dealing with a disability that's for sure! I felt lucky in a sense where I could sort of hide my leg if I wanted to if I didn't want to talk about that because it's a pretty deep conversation to get into on the first date. So a lot of the dates I didn't mention my leg and I would wear long dresses and cover it and then I would decide if I wanted to mention it. But with Grant, yeah, I was about to get off the apps. He had just joined that app, so it was good timing. On our first date, we had an amazing conversation. I thought he was so handsome, much more handsome than his pictures. He'll be the first to say, I don't know why anyone would date me because he didn't have great pictures on the apps! So that was a pleasant surprise. On our first date, it was just wonderful. I felt comfortable enough to share that I have a prosthetic leg, and it was so cute. The first thing he thought of was a guy that he does jujitsu with, is also an amputee. So he was like, 'oh, I know someone in my jujitsu class, and they actually choke people out with their nub on their leg!' So it was really fun. He took the news in his stride, you know, he was such a gentleman, and I just thought, like, if you're gonna tell someone, you have a prosthetic leg, he had the perfect response to it.
Melissa Gough 26:03
What a response. Like you said, you felt confident enough to go okay, well, I'm laying it all out there, and he automatically made a connection to somebody that he knew who he was active within a physical activity. It didn't faze him. He's just like, oh, gosh, I know someone. Yeah. Cool. All right. That's really beautiful.
Rachel Handler 26:21
Yeah, it was really nice. I was relieved, actually, that his first comment wasn't what happened to you. Or can I see it? Or those types of things? I guess, coming from the right person, anything could be okay. But you know, I really liked the way he responded.
Melissa Gough 26:38
It's a great response, and one that you probably weren't anticipating either. So he probably stumped you as well.
Rachel Handler 26:43
Oh my totally! I had never had that reaction before.
Melissa Gough 26:53
You talked about a lot of physio, and a lot of training. One thing that I've observed on your social media pages, you give examples, and you record examples of your training sessions for the viewers, and I guess that's also wonderful for other amputees, or even for physios to see what's on your training programme, what's on your radar, the capability and the challenges that come with your leg. That's really inspiring. You obviously want to keep in shape and you know, fuel your body with training. But where did the inspiration come to go, right, I'm going to record all this, and I'm going to put it out there to show people?
Rachel Handler 27:30
Oh, that's such a good question. I started strength training, like two years ago, maybe. I was working with the trainer, and everything was online. So I was filming myself doing the exercises, sending them to her for feedback and adjustments, because I was really concerned about my form, and making sure I was doing everything with the right technique. Because I have herniated discs too. I was like, well, I don't want to make anything worse. So it really started with just working with my trainer and getting used to filming myself that way, and then I couldn't afford to work with her anymore. She's very affordable, but you know, money gets tight. Sometimes I needed to save for the wedding, to buy a house, that kind of thing. I just started filming myself to critique or not critique myself, but to check my form and make sure it looked good still, because I'm all about the mind- muscle connection. Sometimes I would be doing an exercise and I would be like, 'oh, my back is not flat in that exercise, you know. I found that filming really helped me, and then I started posting some of the videos online. I was getting feedback from so many friends just like wow, you're inspiring, I need to go to the gym. Or other amputees being like, wow, what foot do you have? Then I would start asking questions like, 'hey, any other people with disabilities experienced this or that? It became more of a way to connect with other people within the disabled community and other friends who were interested in strength training. I really do have to say that lifting weights changed my life! It brings me so much joy more than running ever did. I know we're all different people with different bodies and different needs. But for me, strength training, it really was a game changer, for me.
Melissa Gough 29:24
There's so much research on the benefits of strength training that's probably on my radar for next year. That's something that we'll be gradually bringing back in. So you're recovering and you're also playing the piano and keeping up with your singing and reading lines and considering auditions. Around eight or nine months you decide to go to an audition and what happened there.
Rachel Handler 29:45
Yeah, so I came to New York City with my friend and there happened to be an audition that I wanted to go to that day. We were actually in the city to see the rehearsal for Saturday Night Live which was really cool. Before that, I was like, you know what, there's an audition for a musical that I really want to be in. So it was my first big audition back as an amputee, I was proudly showing my prosthetic leg, I had just gotten a new one with a pretty sort of paisley print on it. I sang my song at the audition and when I was done, the director and the music director, they were just like, yeah, that was beautiful. We'd like to invite you to a dance call back, but you know, it's dancing. So hahahaha! They sort of just laughed me out of the room! In a sense, I didn't know how to respond at the time. I was new to this disabled world. I didn't know how to advocate for myself, because you learn pretty quickly how to advocate for yourself, but I was brand spanking new. I just sort of left the room feeling a little defeated, a little angry,and it definitely put a sour taste in my mouth about musical theatre. Yeah.
Melissa Gough 30:57
You stated that it knocked your confidence. You felt very deflated, and you stopped going to auditions for a while. Then you came across something called the Disability Film Challenge in 2014, and that was a real game changer for you. Can you talk us through that, and also what that involved?
Rachel Handler 31:16
Yes. So right before The Disability Film Challenge, actually, I was cast in a movie called Smothered that was written and directed by John Schneider of Dukes of Hazzard fame. That was my first time being in a movie, like a big feature film, and I loved it. So from that point, I was like, I want to do more of this. I had been thinking about writing my own film, or TV pilot or short script, but you know, procrastination, life. Then the disability film challenge popped up, and I couldn't not do it! There was just something inside me that said, you have to do this. So I wrote my first short film script, and I filmed it with a guy who had a camera. It was incredible! It was so fun! It was my first time finishing a script, and I won the Best Actor Award in that competition, and that just made me want to keep writing more. I realised, like, I wrote a story that I wanted people to see that I had never seen before, about a woman with a disability going on a first date. I mean, that's a story we don't see, you know, so it was really, really just an incredible experience. The stars aligned and the timing was great. So I'm forever grateful to Nick Novicki for starting The Disability Film Challenge, and really making me feel like I still had a voice. Because at the time, I had just done one film. I wasn't doing musicals anymore, and I was feeling a little like a fish on the water, where do I go next? So The Disability Film Challenge really helped me feel like I can still share my story. I can write, I can produce, I'll still act, and we'll just see where this goes. So it was really a nice big glimmer of hope for me.
Melissa Gough 33:07
Where did you go next? I'm just going to share with our listeners, Rachel has been in roles in NCIS, Law and Order, all of those global television shows. Were you in a role as an amputee in these series at the time or even in the movie at the time. Or were they just like we love Rachel skills, we love her skills as an actor. Let's bring her in. Let's have her.
Rachel Handler 33:30
I have done all of it at this point. In Law and Order, for example, I was the jury foreperson. So that role had nothing to do with my leg. Although I do think for some reason they were looking for someone with the disability, you can't even see my prosthetic leg at all. I'm very thankful that whoever wrote the script, they happen to say, let's find a person with a disability for this role. Or it might have even been the casting director who said, can we specifically look for someone with a disability for this role? So it's great to have allies in this industry looking out for that type of inclusivity. So that would have nothing to do with my disability. I actually played a juror on another show called Bull on CBS. I loved that role so much, but my scene was cut. So you know, you won't see me and it's not on my IMDB. But again that had nothing to do with my leg. I was a nurse in New Amsterdam that had nothing to do with my leg. My favourite role was when I played a congressman's aide on NCIS:New Orleans. They wrote in the script that the character might use crutches. Honestly, I think that's the only reason I got an audition for the role, and I'm so glad they wrote that because it was such a dream. I still keep in touch with that writer Paul Guyot, he's fantastic. I just think that we need more allies in the industry to do things. It's like, why can't this character use crutches? Why aren't we specifically looking for people with disabilities and roles that have nothing to do with disability, but it wouldn't hurt the story, it would only enhance it. I think that's really important. I've been lucky enough to play a few roles where disabilities are included in the storyline. Most recently, I was Pegleg, Doris, in An Interview with the Vampire, which was super fun. You can see the pegleg that they actually built for me.
Melissa Gough 35:29
I saw the video of that, it looks awesome.
Rachel Handler 35:32
Yeah, it's pretty cool. I was a prosthetist. I played someone who builds prosthetic legs in a new TV show on Apple Plus called Best Foot Forward. I love playing roles where a disability is included in the storyline, and it's authentically portrayed and the characters are written authentically. Then I also love to play roles where it has nothing to do with disability. That's probably my favourite just because that's when true inclusion and authenticity happens. That's why I wrote Andy and Kaliope, the way that I did, where disability isn't really mentioned, but the three main actors have disabilities.
Melissa Gough 36:11
Thank you for all of that. This is how I came across Rachel. I actually saw this film Andy and Kaliope, and it's a beautiful short film, which Rachel has won awards for, and deservedly so. But can you please share with our listeners what it's about?
Rachel Handler 36:28
Sure. Andy and Kaliope is the most recent film I've written and produced. I happened to write and produce it for The Disability Film Challenge this year, which means that we only had five days to write, film and edit this short. It was an incredible experience. As soon as I saw the theme for the challenge this year was superheroes, I knew I wanted to do a story about a kid in foster care. I just thought that's a story I have not seen before. Here in America, we don't talk about how most of the children in foster care have some type of disability, whether it's cognitive, physical, developmental. I love working with children, especially during The Disability Film Challenge, because they bring such an incredible energy to the space. They have such a curiosity like, why are we using that camera, or What's that light for. It just makes you stop and think and be like, oh, we have this camera because this, this and this. Then maybe actually, we'll put that lid over here. Their questions spark so much creativity, because we have such a short time period, that I like to only work with people who know the parameters of this and don't get frustrated by it and only embrace all of the challenges. So I knew I wanted to work with a kid and I knew I wanted to say something about the foster care system. Although we all have disabilities, it's not really mentioned within the story, it's just there. The young boy has cerebral palsy, I wear a prosthetic leg, and the actor who plays my coworker in the film is a little person. At the end of the film, we have some facts and statistics about the foster care system in America and children with disabilities. But overall, the story is really just about a young boy in the system, who is nervous about his new placement going to another home, and who wouldn't be nervous about going to live somewhere new. So we wanted to keep it relatable, but also very authentic to the disabled experience. In the film, he imagines himself as a superhero, he's able to sort of build his confidence that way. Yeah, it was such a dream to write this script and to get to see it come to life, especially in such a quick time frame. So that was really cool.
Melissa Gough 38:53
Well, it deserved all the awards that it has received, and well done for that. You've sort of mentioned working with children and your journey in dealing with adults through being an amputee. One thing I'm going to add is in one of your blogs, which was really great. The blog was titled The questions Amputees Dread, especially from total strangers or acquaintances. I'm going to give an example of a woman who I spoke to who's also an amputee, and she's an arm amputee. What she has learned is she's encouraging of children coming to her, because she knows she looks. I don't want to use the word difference. She just looks unique. There is a difference, there's a limb difference. Children do come up and they are curious and they ask her questions. She responds to them because they are young, and they're the next generation who need to become equally aware. But she said what she finds is it's the parents who then will come up and go, Oh, don't bother them, shy away or make some comment about their physical appearance. She's actually pulled up a couple of parents sometimes and said, 'hang on a second, we are still part of this community. We are a diverse community. How your child is acting right now is completely normal. They are curious. They're not being disrespectful. They're asking questions, so they understand their world, and that there's difference in the world. If anything, how you're responding is not appropriate. She also said she's had a few debates with some parents and strongly advocated. Can you talk us through that blog where you said, you know, the questions that you get asked if it's okay, can you lean into a couple of examples for us?
Rachel Handler 40:33
I think every person is so different, and so different on any given day. There might be a day where I'm rushing through the grocery store, and someone comes up to me, and they're like, what happened to your leg, and I'm like, I don't want to talk about this right now. You know, and that is valid. I don't have to answer their questions and I can move on with my day. There might be another day where I'm in the grocery store and a fellow amputee comes up to me and is like, hey, what prosthetist do you go to, and then we'll have a 20 minute discussion. So every situation is different. I think especially when it comes to kids, since there's so much fear of disability,there's so much stigma about not being disabled, it's the worst thing that can happen to you! I've seen so many episodes of TV, especially on doctor shows where they're like, the worst thing we can do is have to amputate her arm, you know! Yes, I get it. Amputation is not the ideal solution, but it's also not the worst thing in the world if it saves your life. So I think there's just a lot of fear. If a kid comes up to me, most of the time, I'll just be like, oh, yeah, this is my robot, it helps me walk, and that's it. I don't like to have to teach, every time I go out. Every time a kid comes up to me, I don't want that pressure. I am normally busy and don't have the time to stop what I'm doing. So I'll just say a quick two sentences and go about my day. Then it's up to the parent to be like, yes, that's called a prosthetic leg. Some people have them and it helps them walk. I don't know why she has it. But that's her story to share. For other people. It might be cancer, diabetes, or an accident. It's the parents job to teach, but I can, like, say a few nice words and not make the kids scared of me (chuckles). But yeah, I don't love having to answer a tonne of questions or take more than like two minutes, usually to just say, yeah, this is my leg, it helps me walk, and that's it. You know, for a lot of kids that might be their first time interacting with someone with a disability. So I never want to be rude or brush it off, but I also am not going to be their teacher for the day. You know.
Melissa Gough 42:53
It makes sense, like you said, it is valid. for where you are at, at the moment. So Rachel, we are now coming to the end of 2022. It has been a crazy few years with a global pandemic, on top of everything else. Where are you at the moment with your auditions? What are you working on? Are you focusing on particular TV work? Is there more theatre work? We can do we see more of Rachel Handler
Rachel Handler 43:17
Thank you. For me, I've been writing more. I have a pilot script called Lame that I'm trying to get produced. I have to admit, I was a little sad, when I realised this time last year, I was working more than ever, I just shot a TV show I was about to leave for San Francisco to do a musical. Then I knew that I was going to be working on another TV Show in January and February. I was booked up, living the dream, it was amazing. This year, that is not the case (chuckles). I don't know what my next job is and I keep having to remind myself, that's usually how it is. I don't know when my next job is coming. I don't know when I'll book an audition. Today, I've just spent almost three hours recording like 10 pages of an audition for a Christmas script. I have no idea if I'll ever hear anything from them, you know, that's just the nature of the business. It's heartbreaking sometimes it is, it is. I try not to compare this year to last year because it just makes me sad that I don't have anything booked, coming up. There's a chance I might be doing a musical in the summer but too far ahead to really lock that into place yet. I just submitted an audition for Wicked on Broadway. It was just like an open call, so I don't even know if anyone's gonna watch the tape that I made, but I made it, it's there. I would love to play Nessarose in Wicked on Broadway. Just sending out a bunch of tapes, hoping something sticks. We'll see what happens. I always feel like after I work a lot and I feel more prepared than ever that's when it gets the slowest. I'm like, interesting, it's all about timing, and then something will pick up. But you know, it's challenging mentally. I'm always looking forward to the next audition. So hopefully that comes soon, because I just did one today. So the next one's just around the corner.
Melissa Gough 45:21
Sure is. In between moments, do you do other work? Is there other work that you do just to get by or to keep sort of the creative juices flowing?
Rachel Handler 45:30
Yeah, I also teach singing lessons. So I love doing that. I have a few students that come in person, although since the pandemic, a lot of my students are online, which is really nice. So I teach all throughout the year, really. There will be some weeks where if I'm on set, I might just be too busy. In person, students might not want to switch online when I'm out of town. But I love teaching voice lessons. That's been really, really fun, especially when the acting work is slow.
Melissa Gough 46:00
Rachel, you have shared so much and it has been such a joy to speak with you and you just radiate positivity and uplifting energy. It's been a real pleasure, and I so appreciate your time today.
Rachel Handler 46:13
Thank you. I appreciate you inviting me to join you on your podcast. This is a lot of fun, amazing questions.
Melissa Gough 46:20
Thank you. I appreciate that. So Rachel, I ask this question to all my guests. The name of the podcast is called The Brain Game Changer where heartfelt stories, awareness and education can change the game. Now you've leaned lot intos of different layers of your journey. However, if there's some vital information or that golden nugget of advice that you could give our listeners today that they can take away with them and go, this is something that's great, and I'm gonna use that. What would it be?
Rachel Handler 46:50
Okay, so I stole this from Amy Purdy, but I love this thing so much.... find the opportunity in adversity. Because a lot of times we're told to overcome adversity, and some adversity you just can't overcome. Like, I cannot grow my leg back. I'm always going to be disabled. But the opportunity in adversity, I think, is so powerful, because humans are amazing at adapting. So finding opportunity in something that appears to be awful, or traumatic, or the worst thing ever, I think is such a gift and such a powerful shift in perspective. So I love that phrase.
Melissa Gough 47:35
That's a beautiful quote and so well said.I'm going to take that one today, and I'm going to sit with that for a little bit. I'm going to reflect that I might even journal about it, about where I can go with that forward. So a big thank you from me for that one. Thanks for everything and have a great day.
Rachel Handler 47:47
Thank you. My pleasure!
Melissa Gough 47:54
Thank you for listening to this episode, and I hope you found the show really valuable. If you'd like to learn more about the podcast, our guests and the topics we discuss, please head over to our Instagram page @thebraingamechanger. Make sure to subscribe and tick those five stars so you never miss an episode. In the meantime, continue embracing those game changing moments. Have a great week and see you again soon. Take care.
